16 WAYS SUPPRESSED EMOTIONS are appearing IN YOUR LIFE
在你的生活中出现的16种被压抑的情绪
Many people will agree that suppression is the least effective emotional regulation strategy available, and yet it’s the most common go-to coping technique. In a sense, emotional suppression is simply just ignoring your feelings, or invalidating them by believing they’re “wrong.” This is dangerous because your emotions are responses that are designed to keep you alive and well. This problem is created, of course, from basic emotional intelligence not being common knowledge. Rather than face the scary unknown, we just avoid it.
许多人会同意，压抑是最有效的情绪调节策略，但它是最常见的应对技巧。从某种意义上说，情绪压抑只是忽视你的感受，或者通过相信它们是“错误的”而使它们无效。这是危险的，因为你的情绪是为了让你活得更好而设计的反应。当然，这个问题是由基本的情商而不是常识造成的。与其面对可怕的未知，我们不如避免它。
In 1988, Daniel Wenger conducted a groundbreaking study that showed just how insidious emotional suppression can be. The results of his research were the ability to identify the “rebound effect of thought suppression.” Essentially, the group in the study that was instructed to push away thoughts of a white bear had more thoughts about the white bear than the other group, which was allowed to think about anything (including a white bear). Ever heard the phrase “What we resist, persists?”
1988年，丹尼尔·温格（DanielWenger）进行了一项开创性的研究，揭示了情绪压抑的危害程度。他的研究结果是能够识别“思维抑制的反弹效应”基本上，在研究中，被要求推开白熊想法的那一组比被允许思考任何事情（包括白熊）的另一组对白熊有更多的想法。有没有听过这样一句话：“我们抵抗的是什么，坚持的是什么？”
Long story short: You can’t avoid your emotions. You can’t deny them, invalidate them, or suppress them. You can only try to ignore them, but for reasons more powerful than your conscious mind can grasp, they will make themselves known in many other ways. Here are a few ways suppressed emotions resurface in life/signs you may be experiencing this, too:
长话短说：你无法避免自己的情绪。你不能否认、否定或压制它们。你只能试着忽略它们，但由于比你的意识思维所能理解的更强大的原因，它们会以许多其他方式让人知道。以下是一些被压抑的情绪在生活中重现的方式/你可能也在经历的迹象：
01. Your self-image is polarized: You either think you’re the greatest person on Earth or a worthless piece of garbage, with little in between.
你的自我形象是两极分化的：你要么认为自己是地球上最伟大的人，要么认为自己是一个一文不值的垃圾，两者之间几乎没有什么。
02. You become anxious when anticipating social situations, as you feel you cannot just show up as you are, so you will have to “perform” or be subject to judgment from whoever is there.
当你预测社交场合时，你会变得焦虑，因为你觉得自己不能像现在这样出现，所以你必须“表演”或接受在场者的判断。
03. You catastrophize. One bad remark from a colleague is cause for an existential breakdown about your self-worth; one argument with a partner is cause to rethink the whole relationship, and so on.
你造成了灾难。同事的一句不好的话是导致你的自我价值感崩溃的原因；与伴侣的一个争论是重新思考整个关系的原因，等等。
04. You exist in comparison to others. You feel you are only as attractive as you are more attractive than someone else, or the most attractive person in the room, and so on.
与他人相比，你是存在的。你觉得自己的魅力只有当你比别人更有魅力，或者房间里最有魅力的人更有魅力时，等等。
05. You cannot tolerate being wrong, as you associate making a mistake with being invalidated as a person.
你不能容忍犯错，因为作为一个人，你会把犯错误与被宣告无效联系在一起。
06. You have random, almost completely unprecedented bursts of anger over very small, unimportant things.
你会对非常小、不重要的事情产生随机的、几乎是前所未有的愤怒。
07. You complain constantly—about things that don’t even really warrant complaint. (It’s a subconscious desire for other people to see and acknowledge your pain.)
你总是抱怨那些根本不值得抱怨的事情。（这是一种潜意识的愿望，希望其他人看到并承认你的痛苦。）
08. You’re indecisive. You don’t trust that your thoughts or opinions or choices will be “good” or “right” the first time, so you overthink.
你太优柔寡断了。你不相信你的想法、意见或选择的第一次会是“好的”还是“正确的”，所以你想得太多了。
09. You procrastinate, which is just another way to say you are fairly regularly in a state of “dis-ease” with yourself. (You can’t simply allow flow, which is a product of suppression.)
你拖延，这只是另一种说法，表示你经常处于一种“不安”的状态。（你不能简单地允许流动，这是抑制的产物。）
10. You’d rather feel superior to other people than connected to them.
你宁愿觉得自己比别人优越，也不愿与别人有联系。
11. When someone you know is successful, your immediate response it to pick out their faults rather than express admiration or acknowledgement.
当你认识的人成功时，你的即时反应是挑他们的缺点，而不是表达钦佩或承认。
12. Your relationships end for similar reasons, you feel anxiety over similar things, and even though you assume time will diminish these feelings or responses, the patterns persist.
你们的关系因相似的原因结束，你们对相似的事情感到焦虑，即使你们认为时间会减少这些感觉或反应，但这种模式仍然存在。
13. You’re resentful of whomever you think is responsible for your pain, or your lack of success, or your inability to choose.
你认为应该任何人都应该为你的痛苦、你缺乏的成功、或你没有能力选择去负责，并对他们感到很愤怒。
14. You feel as though you can’t really open your heart to someone.
你觉得自己无法真正向某人敞开心扉。
15. You suffer a “spotlight complex,” in which you feel that everyone is watching you and is invested in how your life turns out. (They aren’t. They’re not.)
你有一种“聚光灯情结”，在这种情结中，你感觉每个人都在看着你，并投入到你的生活中。（他们不是那样的。他们并没有那么做。）
16. You’re afraid to move on, even though you want to. You may be ready to move on mentally, but until you completely process the accompanying feelings, you’ll remain exactly where you are.
即使你想离开，你也害怕离开。你可能已经准备好在精神上继续前进，但在你完全处理好随之而来的感觉之前，你会一直保持原样。
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